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Independence is Not a Triumph – it’s a Mindset

Independence is Not a Triumph – it’s a Mindset

On February 22, 1979 a young woman named Helen Lucia West decided to leave home and go out on her own. She considered herself independent and like a prodigal daughter, decided to go out on her own and never return, unlike her proverbial male counterpart, the Prodigal Son.

As a child she was forced to endure a nasty custody battle between her separated parents, Francis and Elizabeth, resulting in 14 home changes. Each time she had to learn, unlearn and relearn behaviours and customs. Her dad was French and her mother English. Dad could not stand her broken French; mom equally could not stand her broken English. She forever felt like a stepchild, never really feeling like she belonged. She was always praised for her beauty, intelligence and potential. Helen could particularly remember a Caucasian man commonly known as Uncle Sam who often showed an interest in her. He continuously praised her for her beauty and somehow could not get enough of her Pitons. To date, he makes it his duty to visit her, usually during the winter months. Helen knew in her heart she had what it took to make it on her own and she was destined to do it.

On February22, 1980 Helen’s little sister, Maria who eventually moved in with her after she left, one day askedher,“How did you know it was time?”

Helen, wanting to better understand the ambiguous question, responded, “Time for what, Maria?”

“Time to go on your own.Why didn’t you stay with Mother Elizabeth? She seemed to really like you!”said Maria, in one fullbreath.

Helen looked at her little sister with a firm but caring stare, whilst she sealed an envelope addressed to her mother entitled ‘Trade Agreement.’ “Maria,”said Helen, “my decision was not about a time or an age,it was about a mindset. There is no time that dictates your need for independence, it is a mindset. Independence is only possible when we acknowledge we are responsible for our own development. It has nothing to do with age. To be clear, it may have more to do with experience and learning.” At thispoint, Maria became fullyengaged.

“Life is like a pendulum,” Helen explained, as she pointed to a pendulum clock on the wall.“A pendulum is an object suspended from a fixed point that moves to and fro by the action of gravity and initial momentum. Pendulums are designed in such away that once they are moved, they will continue to swing for along period of time.Gravity is the force that keeps the pendulum moving. Although powered by gravity and some initial momentum, pendulums,like everything else, do stop.Ultimately,friction between the air and the swing, and the various attachment points of the pendulum, slows it down and it eventually stops.

“Maria”, Helen continued, “the truly independent understand that the pendulum of life can and will stopandtheyarepreparedtoberesponsibletokeep itswinging.

“Let’s say that at the beginning of life our pendulum gets a divine push from nature. From prenatal milestones to birth, we experience automatic transitions from one to the other. We experience development milestones, as nature has commanded our growth and development.We crawl, then we walk, then we talk, then we experience puberty. Without a thought,we simply look forward to these milestones.

“Our social development is mandated bysocietal norms and expectations. Kindergarten, grade school, elementary school, high/secondaryschool,it allseemssetup,like the perfect blueprint for us to simply follow. But as time passes,the next step becomes less automatic. What happens then? After high school,what next? For the fortunate who are afforded a university education,what do we study? What happens when I fail a semester for the first time and my progress has halted, or if I lose my job?

“Those ready for independence learn that the pendulum of life is NOT automatic. Progress is not a privilege, it’s a result. It’s either the result of our own input or that of someone with mutual interest. The truly independent, however, does not take this third- party interest for granted or as an excuse to abdicate accountability for their own progression.

“Many assume the role of independence without the realization that progress is a result, not a privilege. Perpetual complainers of injustice and unfairness (that are undoubtedly real) often make no mention of their plan to use the special talents granted to them at birth to help solve the problems they complain about. Sometimes, they even develop an unhealthy disdain for the innocently successful.

“The truly independent is a victor, not a victim; always aware that her next opportunity is the one she creates.

“Dear Maria,” Helen concluded, “I decided to be independent because I was ready to power my own pendulum. I realized progress was not automatic, my input was imperative.”

In February our country observes its 39th year of Independence. 39 years later, have we abdicated our responsibility for progression as individuals and ultimately a nation?

My progress is your progress! We are St. Lucia! Happy 39th Independence anniversary!